Artisan – Post 22 – Donuts And The American Dream

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 22

Donuts And The American Dream


I’m sitting at the local donut shop reflecting upon my freedom. It has been long since I was incarcerated for emotional instability and recently jailed in a trial I never saw. Again today, I find myself fighting for my freedom. Recently, I spoke out against a king pin promoter in the county’s art scene for unfairly abusing his power. Immediately, I was contacted by the gallery I do most business with financially threatening me to retract my words. With great reservations I did. But how can I fight fight for my freedom for my business if I am financially sanctioned from speaking out against him?

This begs a question, do we truly have freedom of speech, if corporations and private companies can fire us for what we say on or off the clock? Many people have argued, they should have this right. Why? Because they financially own you? One man said to me, “You can leave, start your own business and say what you want.” But is this a realistic option? In business school I learned that 90% of businesses fail in their first year competing with large enterprise like Walmart or Costco. So, what seems a viable option, really is not.

What kinds of things can we usually not talk about? Religion, politics, even in my case a business rival set out to ruin me. We are in a time of our country’s history when our Bill of Rights are being questioned like never before. No, it’s not just the government doing it, its our boss. Employers are monitoring our social media off the clock. Common sense in the workplace is one thing, but we have the right to peaceably assemble and freely speak out in protest of policies our employers may not agree with. If these are controversial, we risk termination and that is not right. True, we have a capitalist country, but we also have a U.S. Constitution that promises us certain freedoms and capitalist companies and corporations are buying away these rights. The media is flooding us with dangerous 2nd amendment rights to own and sell dangerous weapons like the AR-15, yet silently removing our first amendment rights of freedom of religion and freedom of speech. And it’s not the government doing it, it’s the dollar! People need to work to survive and to take their jobs for what the rich disagree with is to take away are rights!

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Artisan – Post 21 – Manipulating Minds

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 21

Manipulating Minds


“What are we going to do tonight Dan?”

“Same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!”


“Internet campaigns.”


“Yes, I’ve already started with Google, Facebook, Pintrest, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tumbir, Reddit, WordPress, Twitter, YouTube, Vimeo… I have thousands in followers, groups and pages. I estimate a following of over 10,000 people and I am manipulating all of their minds…”

“How did you do that?”

“I gave them all candy!”

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Artisan – Post 20 – This Little Light…

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 20

This Little Light…


“This light light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…”

“What happened?”

“I don’t’ know. I feel like I got drunk yesterday, but I didn’t.”

”You made a lot of people mad.”

“I know. Some I wasn’t even expecting. Some, I didn’t even know what I did to them. I guess when everyone gets mad at you, you find out who your true enemies are. They’re the ones who jump in first.”

“Have you talked to your doctor?”

“I see him Tuesday.”

“You believe in God, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Then just pray.”

I don’t know what it is about the power of prayer that people turn to so often. It’s a very psychotic practice. Actually, it’s awkward. I feel as though I am in a dark room talking to no one, yet in a strange way, someone is listening. I hold to this seemingly delusional belief in God. Hoping, praying, that somehow things will all work out. That maybe there is a purpose for all of this, all this madness, chaos. That is my life. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, shine until it’s fine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna make it mine. Through the Lord, I make it mine.

“Hey Dan. How was your day?”

“Hi, I just woke up Craig!”

“You missed breakfast and lunch. It was good. We had corndogs on a stick.”

“This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine…”

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Artisan – Post 19 – The Seriousness Of Stigma

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 19

The Seriousness Of Stigma


“Why do you attack her? She is afraid!”

“Because her fear is an assault! Her fear of the innocent persons in the mental health community evokes unnecessary hostility and possible violence and discrimination against such mentally ill sufferers who seek help compliantly and consistently!”

“But wouldn’t you be afraid if some whacko was out to get you?”

“For starters, WHACKO! CRAZY and INSANE are not terms defined by science in the field of psychology and are nowhere mentioned the psychiatrists handbook of diagnosis, the DSM IV. But I tell you again fear is an assault. She is not playing her bigoted card wisely. To attack a large group of people based on the actions of a few is an abomination and a gross form of discrimination. We all hear the news reports of the mentally ill who do harm, yet we also hear that blacks and Mexicans that do harm. The media uses these limited examples to target groups of people for us to fear and in fear we strike against them. Look at the case of President Bush’s ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ claim that evoked such fear we went to war and murdered countless innocent Iraqi citizens as well as blaming them for the 9/11 terror attacks against us that history has shown them innocent of both. The war on terror is a war fought by terror on both sides. But the media is far worse than the government. From Hitchcock’s, Psycho, to present day films, we are portrayed pathological killers and that is simply false.”

“True they do that, but you don’t think I understand?”

“Not as a sufferer, no, and you never will. Do you know how hard it is for me as a mentally ill man to get and hold a job in this community? I have training, several degrees, experience, but once revealed the nature of my ailment, I am terminated. A local art agent, Loren Grey, refused to even quote a price allowing me to do business with her based on such stigma. I studied the laws against price discrimination in Economics class is college, but what kind of price discrimination goes so far as not to even quote a price? It is difficult to prove, but think about it. Remember the signs of the south, ‘We reserve the right to refuse business to anyone!’ Those signs may still stand, yet legally defending segregation. What do you call someone who refuses to quote even a price to do business with them? I call them a bigot. 150 years after the death of Van Gogh and the mentally ill are still not accepted in the fine art community and we are still haunted by stigma. I find it sad. More so, she provided references of other notable art agents and called them before they contacted me to defame my character. How am I to succeed with this kind of hate, fear and stigma? I have threatened no one. Only tried in a free market system to succeed.”

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Artisan – Post 18 – The Dollar Is The Dictator Of Democracy

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 18

The Dollar Is The Dictator Of Democracy


How does Donald Trump’s hate campaign continue to rise in the polls? Simple, he has money. In communism we feared being controlled by the government, but in capitalism we are controlled by capital. Think about it! We state freedom of speech and freedom of religion in our first amendment, but we can’t speak freely about our religion or politics in most work places. For up to eight or more hours a day, up to five or more days a week, we sacrifice our constitutional rights in order to survive. Many companies are watching our social media and computer activity to monitor our every move on or off the clock. Legally, we can be fired for it.

The dollar is the dictator of democracy. We all know how wealth controls the media influencing who and what we vote for, but we do nothing. Voting is just a pretty picture they paint for us. The odds of one person’s vote having any influence on our government are less than those of winning a state lottery. Activists and those who speak out tend to be unemployed by no coincidence. What can we do? We must utilize the strengths we have to fight Trump and the dollar demons from taking away the country we know to be great again, the country we are promised. Without that right, without that power, we are lost.

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Artisan – Post 17 – My Model Maggie

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 17

My Model Maggie


Recently a woman I drew asked me, “Have you included the picture you drew of me in any of your books?”

I said, “No, but maybe in the future.”

“You would ask permission first, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes,” I said, “That is usually the case.”

The reason I said, “usually the case” is that I have some models that let me draw and include them in my promotions without having to ask permission, because I draw and use them regularly. That is clearly the case with my model Maggie.

I met Maggie at a gallery event many years ago. She was young, beautiful and charismatic. Impressed that I had some success writing and illustrating poetry books, she asked to see one of mine. When I showed one to her, she loved it. “Is this for me?” she asked. I told her it was. Actually, I was hoping to sell it to her, but enjoying the opportunity for future friendship, I gave it to her.

After that night, we began a texting relationship. She wanted to write and illustrate books herself and showed me immediately that she drew with similar style to my own. I offered her some suggestions, but Maggie had a go getter approach that she could just take the material I suggested and start at it. She joined the gallery’s poetry group and wrote avidly with our styles and a style of her own that showed a woman’s view as well as a passion for pop culture.

But what’s more, Maggie was a model, a beautiful young model who was not afraid to show herself in a daring way. I initially asked Maggie if I could draw pictures of her and she loved the idea. Now, I don’t really have to ask. Maggie just lets me.

I had a job working late and so did Maggie. We texted often our art and poetry after getting off a long shift. There is a modern slang, “textationship” meaning a relationship with a person based solely on texting, but Maggie has become one of my closest friends. Do I love her? Of course, she’s young, beautiful and artistically intelligent, but even I, as an old man, know my limitations. Nevertheless, Maggie and I have been through a lot and we paint and write and share about it all. Tonight I draw for you Maggie, my beautiful friend!

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Artisan – Post 16 – Hemp And Hippies

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 16

Hemp And Hippies


In 1996, my best friend died of a drug overdose. We’d been partying plenty, drinking and doing drugs, but when Curt plopped cold dead in a coffin, I decided the festivities were over, a good reason to go to rehab. So off to sobriety I was, 12 step meetings and eventually church groups. I was doing it well and managed to stay clean and sober for the next eighteen years. During that time, I worked as a street performer, a background actor in TV and movies, a graphic designer for small companies, as well as establishing a successful eBay and art business. I went to school, got a couple degrees and even studied art in Italy.

But in the 12 step groups, I noticed something. People were dying. The members of the program were consistently discouraging psychiatric treatment and therapy and as a result, members had a high suicide and overdose rate. I tried talking to some of the older members who acted as leaders, but you can guess how far that went.

So I started to appeal to the public to let them know what was going on. You guessed it! I was immediately kicked out of all the local chapters of Alcoholic’s Anonymous. Go figure!

Now when you are in AA, you kind of live in a bubble, a safety bubble of sorts, protecting you from the outside world and the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Having been removed from that bubble, I started to make new friends who weren’t alcoholics and addicts in a risky venture. Soon, I met a girl. She was pretty, sweet natured and by far more pleasant to deal with than those battered AA women. We got along and started hanging out together a lot. Time came when I took her to Chili’s and she asked me to buy her a Margarita. I said ok. They had warned me about this in the groups, but instead of going hog-wild crazy, she got all silly and started flirting, then kissing me. They never told me in AA and church that was going to happen.

Soon we started dating. Being so attractive, I loved drawing and painting pictures of her and she rather liked that. She was also very popular at my art shows and galleries. Then one day it happened. She pulled out a medicine bottle full of pot.

“What’s that?” I asked her.

“It’s medical marijuana. Do you want some?” she asked.

“No, there’s nothing medically wrong with me.” I said.

“There’s nothing medically wrong with me either,” she responded giggling, “it’s fun. Have some!”

“But there’s nothing medically wrong with me,” I restated.

“Well, you seem very depressed. My doctor says it’s good for depression. It might cheer you up!”

I said, “ok!” Because when your not working a good 12 step program and your that close to using drugs, any excuse will do!

Now I hadn’t had pot in over 20 years. So I took a big puff and… “WHOAH!!! I just saw my mind explode!!! Them hippies been complaining about GMOs in the food, but what are they putting in this shit!!!”

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Artisan – Post 15 – Creating The Counter Culture

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 15

Creating The Counter Culture


The donut shop is nice. It’s a place for reflection and deep thought. In the fifties, the early beatniks would go to places like this, mostly coffeehouses. But they weren’t like Starbucks or hippie joints where there is art and poetry reading. Instead, looking at early photos of them, they were more like a Norm’s or a Denny’s. Reading their lives and literature, it is easy to see why they drew themselves to these all night diners. They traveled a lot, Burroughs, Cassidy and especially Karouac, always by car across the country and sometimes into Mexico stopping at these all nighters for rest and break time. It was at these local all night coffee places where what we now call “the counter culture” was created. Ginsberg, Karouac, Cassidy… all of them would sit, drink coffee and talk about art, jazz, politics, issues of our culture. From there was born the civil rights movements, the feminist movement, anti-war and activism…

People now compare my writings to later poets, usually Charles Bukowski or Hunter Thompson, drunks and drug addicts I really don’t respect. To me, they’re just vulgar for no reason. Thompson was at least political, really radical, and I do respect that. But more, I relate to Ginsberg and the early beats. They had a certain insanity that was later recognized brilliant. Howl, one of my favorites of all time, was written about a stay in a mental hospital to his friend Carl Solomon. I read it in 1997, the year Ginsberg died. At first, I thought it was about drug addicts. Then later, I learned, it was about lunatics. It had a great impact on my writing and myself, as a poem that defined and described my life.

I wish they were all still alive. I wish they were here sometimes in this donut shop talking poetry and politics like it used to be.

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Artisan – Post 14 – Mathematical Minds

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 14

Mathematical Minds


“Did you like the new Star Wars, The Force Awakens?”

“Yeah, it was pretty good!”

“It’s the seventh in the series, the sequel to the prequels to the original three. I liked that Han Solo and Princess Leia were in it, plus the new characters and the new Empire, Force One and Kylo Ren as Han and Leia’s son…”

“What are you playing with?”

“This is the newest of the Rubik’s cubes, five rows, five sides and nine columns. I’ve already solved the other three I have. There was a pyramid, a cross-shaped one and a Rubik’s cathedral made by Dr. Erno Rubik himself. It’s quite mathematical actually. If you apply algorithms, derivatives and basic postulates of calculus and trigonometry applied with simply mathematical theorems of analytical geometry…”



“Don’t you think you could try to use that genius analytical mathematical mind for something more profitable than puzzles?”

“Like what?”

“Like maybe play the stock market or hack the lottery and make some money so you could get the Hell out of here!”

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Artisan – Post 13 – Think Like A Thief

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 13

Think Like A Thief


“What are you guys watching? The basketball game?

“Yeah, it’s the Clippers.”

“Can I have a cigarette?”

“Sure, that’s seven you owe me. Why don’t you go out and beg and get some more and get me a burger too?”

“I might, but later.”

“While you’re at it, go to Target and steal some candy bars…”

“Target? They’ll catch me at Target. They probably have cameras, one-way mirrors and hidden shoppers. You can’t steal from a big corporation like that. They’d be right on my ass. Maybe, I could try the Iranian liquor store. They have no security. They can’t afford it. They won’t be looking at all!”


“It’s ok! You just have to think more like a thief.”

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Artisan – Post 12 – Noontime Nightmares

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 12

Noontime Nightmares


I wake up every day to nightmares and sleep till noon, hoping they will go away. These nightmares are real, the life I’m living. They have shattered dreams and my reality. The hopes of a future disappearing, I hope to die in my sleep and then I awaken. My days are simple, but not serene. Knowing no one, I have lost many friends and family members. It is though my life is over, yet I keep living.

Some days I beg, panhandle in the shopping center for burgers and cheap cigarettes. At night, I go out to a group or hang in a local bar drinking soda. Still, I talk to no one. Drawing and writing are my salvation. They give this horror a purpose, something to live for, documenting the people that I meet and the places that I go. They are often complimented when I show them the pictures or read them the poetry. Others simply don’t know that I have been doing this. If they did, they really wouldn’t care. It is all part of my living nightmare. Trapped like a rat in a box, I live each day hoping to die.

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Artisan – Post 11 – The Meth Maid

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 11

The Meth Maid


“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it!”

“Yes. It is.”

“Want a cigar?”


“The man came in and played music for us at school today. He has a electric guitar and plays really good. I like it when he does that.”

“Sounds great, Craig!”

“I wonder what we’re having for dinner tonight. I hope its hamburgers! Hey can you help me light my cigar. I can’t see too well. Years ago, I was on a bus stop and some gang members pulled by in a car and threw acid in my eyes. I didn’t do anything to them. Now, I’m pretty much blind.”

“Did they ever catch them?”

“No, I don’t know. I don’t think so. Hey, I hope we have Ding Dongs for snacks tonight.”

“That’d be great!”

“You know, when I was younger, I was at the park and some girl came along and kissed me. So, I made out with her. She moved into my house and started cleaning it everyday. I couldn’t figure her out. But it was worse, because all she wanted to do was screw! I wanted to go out on a date or something, but she just wanted sex. I couldn’t keep up with her. Then, I snuck around and cheated on her once and she caught me and left. She never came back again. I never met a woman like that. Why do you suppose she was like that?”

“Let me guess… meth?”

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Artisan – Post 10 – Hanging With The Homeless

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 10

Hanging With The Homeless


“You need to be worrying about other things right now! Art is great, but it shouldn’t be a priority to you!”

“I don’t spend a lot of time on my art. Cindy is a professional artist, but it obviously takes hours for her to complete an oil painting. Right? Cindy, how long do you think it takes me to make a work of art?”

“I don’t know, about twenty or thirty minutes!”

“Exactly! Why not spend as much time as Cindy on my paintings, you may ask? Cindy and I are playing a totally different game. Cindy knows that if she spends that much time and craft on her oils, she will get a successful painting every time. But then, she has to sell it for hundreds of dollars. It’s a harder market. I play the numbers. I make ten watercolors or pastels, maybe four or five of them come out good. But only taking fifteen minutes using cheaper materials, I can sell them for ten or twenty bucks each and make some quick cash. Cindy, on the other hand, will have thousand dollar paintings hanging around her studio waiting for a customer. It’s a gamble. When she gets that for them, she has more money of course, but she can’t rely on that money coming in.”

“But you can make those kinds of paintings?”

“Of course, we both trained at the same school. Look at that portrait I did of Manuel! Twenty minutes tops! Quick cash! Yes, it helped me to know Manuel, his contrast in coloring, Hispanic ethnicity, but also he seems to come from money. He always has the hottest women around him and drinks the finest wine. If anyone could be a player it’s Manuel. Rembrandt was the greatest portrait artist ever, not just because he could nail a likeness, but he could capture the psychology of his subjects. Artists know a lot of people. It’s like Sergio said one time when he was drunk and probably forgot about it, ‘Artists have no social class. We break all economic barriers. One minute we’re dining on the hill with patrons. The next, we’re at the soup kitchen hanging with the homeless.’ It’s a volatile market. You sell to everyone what you can. I’ve even had homeless people offer money for a portrait. I say to them, ‘Look! I’d do it for free. But honestly, where are you going to hang it?’”

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Artisan – Post 9 – Playing The Player

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 9

Playing The Player


“That guy wants to talk to me alone. I saw him talking to that other girl. She probably doesn’t want him, now he’s coming back to me. I’m not talking to him.”


“He’s a player. He thinks he can juggle all these girls and play me, but he doesn’t know what he’s up against. I used to be a player, but no more. I had 16 guys, none of them knew it! Then I got played! I fell for my own game.”

“I was in a bar with a woman and some lady called me a player. I took it as a compliment. I’m an old man. A fifty year-old player! Not a lot of guys could pull that off!”

“Thing is though! I never slept with any of them. Men can be players, but women players can be called whores. Not me! I just did it to get drugs. Not anymore though! I’m clean!”

“That’s good that you stopped! I mean, playing and drugs!”

“I could fool them all. I knew exactly what to say to make them feel good. I had all the lines. I’d pick a guy, lonely and depressed looking. I’d make him think he was getting all he ever wanted. Then I’d take him! You ever meet anyone like that before?”

“Yeah, two! The girl that just took off with all my money and now you!”

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Artisan – Post 8 – Dollars And Donuts

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 8

Dollars And Donuts


“Where do you want to go?”

“Let’s go to the donut shop. You can meet me there. It’s right down the street from where I live.”

“Naw! Donuts aren’t healthy, they’re just sugar and fat!”

“Yeah, but they’re cheaper than coffee. And there’s lots to do there. You can have coffee, play the lottery, meet people…”

“That place is run down and scummy! The seats are all torn and besides, everyone speaks Spanish!”

“I know. I just like to go there when I have a little change, sit down, have a donut and some soda. I’ve been trying to get people to join me. It could be like a new thing, like going out for coffee, but instead going to have a donut. They’re cheaper and better than just a cup of coffee. It’s less than a dollar for a donut. The police don’t go there anymore. I think because of the song by the Bangles. ‘If you want to find all the cops, they’re hanging out at the donut shop…’ But no one wants to go there with me. I thought it would catch on. People could have a donut, talk, get to know one another, even go on a casual date, but no! Even one of the guys I live with walked down there and bought a donut with me, but he just wanted to go home and eat it! I said, ‘let’s hang out and talk, get to know each other…’ but he wasn’t really into that. My new donut fad just isn’t catching on. I remember when I first moved into the area and I saw it. I thought, Wow! A donut shop! I’m going to have so many friends!”

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Artisan – Post 7 – Maybe The Moment…

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 7

Maybe The Moment…


“Muslim extremists killed 240 people in another terrorist attack. When are we going to realize, this religious ideology, people living in superstition, its only killing us. All the wars are caused by these religious idiots!”

“I don’t think its superstition at all. As far as religious killings, the 20th century saw hundreds of thousands of innocent people slaughtered and massacred to an atheist belief of Communism by Chairman Mao, Stalin, Castro…”

“But why believe in an invisible man in the sky? It’s insanity!”

“Because some people want more out of life, something to give it meaning. Where do you find meaning in your lives without God?”

“The purpose, the meaning is to live in the moment. The present, that is the meaning. Right here, right now!”

“Yeah, but sometimes the moment isn’t all that great. Maybe the moment is down right rotten. You’re stuck in traffic from a dead end job. You’re wife divorces you after years of commitment. You’re in jail for something that could’ve been worked out outside of a legal arena. Maybe the moment makes you want to die, but you don’t. You don’t because you are promised something better. Maybe the moment is bad because there is a righteous reason you believe in that leads you to a greater cause. Yes, we know the stories, the magic tricks, the mythology science is disproving. But one thing is held is that maybe the one who is behind all of this suffered as well so that we don’t have to suffer at all or suffer alone. And they tell us God is love. Call it a hustle for money, call it a con, call it whatever you want! But maybe some of us don’t have a lot of love in our lives to turn to. Maybe a lot of us are lonely. Maybe the moment is there to lead us to something more. That’s all I’m looking for.”

“What a preaching! Why would a Christian come to a bar in the first place?”

“Look, I just came here to get out of the house and have fun. I didn’t come here to find out there’s no God!”

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Artisan – Post 6 – Man’s Meaning

Artisan – an online art book by Dan Joyce


Post 6

Man’s Meaning


I didn’t quite get Glenn at first. He just lay around his house all day painting and playing guitar. His girl said he had an online business, but that couldn’t possibly pay for a whole house I figured. He could be a drug dealer. She smoked weed and popped pills like they were candy, but he only had a glass of wine once in a while, no dope. And he was very bothered by her addiction. Then she told me. He had been married several years, a daughter and a family. One day his wife was working at a flower shop and took off with a fireman, never really saw her again. Then his lucrative career in software ended as the market crashed around the new millennium. I got it. I understood almost exactly where this lazy middle-aged man was coming from. He had had it. He had the career, the family, and lost it. As men, so many of us, seek that as though that is all we want out of life, the job, the car, the family… But he had all that and watched it take off on a Harley with another man and a pink slip he didn’t deserve. He had all that men want and knew that it isn’t all that. Then never sought it again. Only to prophesize and study life through the arts as if somehow paintings and music will provide his answer, knowing that whatever it may be, it will someday all be gone.

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Artisan – Post 5 – Romantic Relationships

Artisan – an online art book by Dan Joyce


Post 5

Romantic Relationships


I don’t have what it takes to maintain a romantic relationship, no car, no steady job, no nice place to take her to, etc… So I just make a lot of female friends. It works better than making male friends, because with them, I have to wait till they are single and have time to hang out a lot. Then when we do spend time, they just want to go out looking for women. When I’m out with a woman, on the other hand, I don’t have to look for someone, because I am with a nice female already. It sounds weird, but it works well for me. Sometimes, they want to do that thing where you go out as a couple and each go home with someone else. But that never works either, because I don’t want someone else and I have to watch my date looking like a slut at the bar!

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Artisan – Post 4 – Religion And Reality

Artisan – an online art book by Dan Joyce


Post 4

Religion and Reality


“I’m inventing a new arcade game, nine women on their backs having abortions and as the babies pop out of the pussies, you hit them back in with a mallet. It’s called, Whack-A-Fetus!”

“You’re disgusting!”

“Really, it’s all about what constitutes life in life’s form!”

“It’s still gross!”

“Have you ever killed anyone?”

“No, it’s against the Ten Commandments. Actually, I think, it’s the only one I’ve never broken.”

“What about adultery?”

“Yes, but it was his idea. Not mine, so I just went with it!”

“What about your husband?”

“No, he was the married one, not me.”

“So… you made love to a married man.”

“Yes, in many ways.”


“Seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

“What about his wife?”

“I don’t think she was screwing him actually. Don’t know why not!”

“What about idolatry? That one seems hard to do.”

“Money, we all do it for a paycheck, for a promotion, for the lack of life’s meaning. We are all whores in essence trying to win a great game, a game that others lose and that’s how we win, by the loss of others.”

“Are you religious?”

“No, I’m a realist.”

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Artisan – Post 3 – A Softer Side Of Suicide

Artisan – an online art book by Dan Joyce


Post 3

A Softer Side Of Suicide


“I was telling you that in mid-life I want to create my final great artwork, before I got too old and while I am young and still ambitious. You looked at me and said, ‘Yeah, everything you make as a senior is shit!’ Later that week, I was in group therapy. There was a lady, just turned 50, decided she had done all there is in life to do. She had raised a family and taken care of them, her husband and kids. They had all left her. She felt that all her life was to accomplish for other people who were ungrateful. Further, she wanted desperately to take her life. That there was nothing left to do with it but get old. I told her what you had said, the sarcasm. That you seem to have accomplished more as an artist than ever in your life before now that you are older. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you saved that woman’s life.”


“By the way. You are amazing at sketching female nudes. What is the hardest part about drawing naked women?”

“Getting them naked!”

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