Artisan – Post 42 – Dying In A Dream

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 42

Dying In A Dream



“I woke up this morning writing a suicide note in my sleep.”

“How do you do that?”

“In a bad dream. Then I woke up to one.”


“I was raised in a Catholic family, a very punishing belief in God. No matter what has happened in life, I was conditioned to believe I can’t win.”

“Some religion is just plain wrong.”

“But in the dream, it was so real. It was as though I was living my everyday horrors, but asleep.”

“You seem so content in the daytime now. What was different?”

“That’s the reality of the surreal. Sometimes the subconscious knows more than one can speak, more than one wants to admit. I think in daylight we live in more fantasy than a dream, struggling, hoping that it’s all ok, that it’s all going to change, that one can win and beat this horrible game that is family, that is society.”

“That’s what to you were writing?”

“No! I wanted them to know that they were the reason I was doing this, dying in my dreams. I wanted to wake up and do it, take my life. It was horrible.”

“So you just slept.”

“Yes, I just lay there as usual, hoping that I never wake up.”

“So what can you do about it?”

“Nothing, I can’t win. That’s what makes those bad dreams so real.”

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