Artisan – Post 42 – Dying In A Dream

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 42

Dying In A Dream



“I woke up this morning writing a suicide note in my sleep.”

“How do you do that?”

“In a bad dream. Then I woke up to one.”


“I was raised in a Catholic family, a very punishing belief in God. No matter what has happened in life, I was conditioned to believe I can’t win.”

“Some religion is just plain wrong.”

“But in the dream, it was so real. It was as though I was living my everyday horrors, but asleep.”

“You seem so content in the daytime now. What was different?”

“That’s the reality of the surreal. Sometimes the subconscious knows more than one can speak, more than one wants to admit. I think in daylight we live in more fantasy than a dream, struggling, hoping that it’s all ok, that it’s all going to change, that one can win and beat this horrible game that is family, that is society.”

“That’s what to you were writing?”

“No! I wanted them to know that they were the reason I was doing this, dying in my dreams. I wanted to wake up and do it, take my life. It was horrible.”

“So you just slept.”

“Yes, I just lay there as usual, hoping that I never wake up.”

“So what can you do about it?”

“Nothing, I can’t win. That’s what makes those bad dreams so real.”

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Artisan – Post 41 – Donut Dating

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 41

Donut Dating



Hi! I’m Dan!

Do you like donuts?

I do and there’s a wonderful donut shop only blocks from my home. B&B Donuts is located on Harbor Blvd. across the street from Costco in Fullerton, CA. and is open for your every donut desire from 4am to 11pm everyday or you can use the 24 hour donut drive through. Why? You may ask, would I want a donut date with Dan? Let me tell you. First off, the average cup of coffee at Starbucks or any other coffeehouse is around three or four dollars. Donuts are only a dollar! And there’s lots to do at the do at the donut shop! You can meet for breakfast, drink coffee, play the lottery and unlike Starbucks, the donut shop has a smoking section outside. Although donuts are cheap, don’t consider yourself a cheap date! A cheap date usually puts out and I’m not expecting anyone to do that for a donut.

The donut shop is silent and serene, a good place to get to know one another and engage in deep discussion. Talk about your favorite artists, what trends in music inspire you, cover heavy political ambitions or just enjoy your donut with that special someone. ME! B&B donuts is a family run mom and pop donut shop just like the good ol’ days kind of businesses that make America great again, but run by Asians.

Please comment on this post or blog or Facebook message me to reserve you special donut date with Dan. Contact soon for dates and times! Cheers!

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Artisan – Post 40 – Fifteen Minutes Of Facebook Fame

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 40

Fifteen Minutes Of Facebook Fame


When I was living in Los Angeles, I bought a digital camera and started to make my art available on eBay. It was then I first notice the extreme communication power of the Internet. On my first item sale, I photographed a watercolor painting and within an hour I heard a comment from someone in China. Suddenly, my art was available all over the world without doing much at all.

Many saw the immediate problems of the Internet, women being stalked by strangers, pedophiles seeking children and idiots randomly insulting everyone’s personal values. But it wasn’t clear to me how bad this could get until the new millennium brought us social media. Andy Warhol once said, “In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes,” and with facebook, twitter and google, the day was soon to arrive. Now it is so easy to speak and be heard, that the younger generation simply takes that for granted. But there are unspoken guidelines and etiquette to consider. What can and more so, what can’t be said. We can freely criticize the president, talentless celebrities like the Kardashians, politics of local government, but what about our neighbors? Do slander laws apply or have they even yet been established? Do we have the legal right to criticize anyone publicly?

Of course there are social consequences, talk about your boss or your job and get fired, talk about your significant other and lose a relationship, talk about family and become disowned… But what about the random people who react when seemingly not involved at all? I first noticed the danger, when I was promoting a book criticizing some of the problems I had run into in 12 step programs. Yes, I was removed from some of the groups, but worse, they were getting a hold of my phone number and personal information online and I was getting death threats from people in AA who fanatically believed I was going against their God. The police said all I could do about it was file restraining orders, but how do you do that legally with what seemed an entire organization? Also, the individuals making the threats were part of an anonymous organization and there was no way to locate them or serve such papers.

While young people know how to operate and iPad or iPhone with ease, they are also learning a social protocol the older generation never learned, never had and simply wasn’t expecting. While it’s silly for us to simply post pictures of our puppies, sexy selfies or our meals online, there is great responsibility that must be taken in the power of communication this century has brought about. I predict many laws will follow. What seems harmless can and is doing great damage. But along the lines of Warhol’s thinking, we have a great power in our hands today. You now have the ability to communicate with people all throughout your community and literally all over the world in portable devices that can fit in our pockets. But what are you going to say?

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Artisan – Post 39 – Some Days Seem…

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 39

Some Days Seem…


Some days seem flawless; some days seem unbearable. Today I learned a valuable lesson from a preacher not speaking in a church. He started by trying to define an old, and to me unwanted, phrase “terminal uniqueness.” But he made it clear that we are all different, we all have those parts of our identity that make us unique. The problem comes when one just holds on to those differences and fails to recognize the many things we have in common with nearly everyone else. I go to AA where, “I am an alcoholic,” or church where, “I am a child of God!” And while this is grand for fellowship, and for me basically a free and cheap way to get out of the house, to hold onto our differences that basically others tend to not understand in the first place, creates futility.

For so many years, I have felt the solution to mental health issues is through education. But so many, rightfully seeming insist on ignorance. Guess what? They simply don’t have to understand. It would be nice to live in a world where a minority of any kind, black, Muslim, gay or even in my case, bipolar, does not warrant any unnecessary reaction. However, history is proving this nearly impossible, and we ourselves make it such by not only refusing to understand the differences in others, but by expecting everyone else to understand the differences in ourselves.

One such gallery owner, I’ve often had great experiences dealing with, recently brought out the difference, my being mentally ill. I was appalled, but did I really rightfully react in being so? We can’t expect everybody to know everything, nor can we expect that they would want to. People have their own lives to go about and bring about happiness and nourishment in their own such ways. I am not defending racism, bigotry or stigma in any way. I am just saying that one of the greatest problems I have found in life is that, when communicating with others expecting everyone to know all of the individual facts that I know myself. For that reason, the average television news station is geared to the mind of a ten year-old and repeated frequently for those who may have missed earlier showings. We are all different in many fantastic and fascinating ways, yet from the red blood that flows through us, to our creative and provocative minds, in many beautiful and wonderful ways, we are all the same.

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Artisan – Post 38 – Policies Of Probation

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 38

Policies Of Probation


“Ok, I’ll be your new probation officer. Are you still living at the same address?”


“Have you had any trouble with the law since your last appointment. Well I ranted about some guy on the internet and he threatened to sue me for slander. That’s not a criminal offense though.”

“No, that’s different.”

“Yes, he’d basically have to sue me in a civil court then try to collect the money. He’ll have to stand in line behind AT&T, T-Mobile, Capital One, my former landlord and the student loan people.”

“Ok, you understand you are not allowed to associate with other felons or people on probation. Have you been doing this?”

“Just at A.A. There’s lots of them there. I told a girl I was a felon and she said, ‘Join the club!’ I said, ‘Nope, we can’t have a club!’”

“So you go to AA?”

“Yes, just to get out of the house and do something for free. I go to church too.”

“Do you do drugs or alcohol?”


“But you used to have a problem?”


“When was the last time you did drugs?”

“One hundred years ago, in a former life. Some strong shit though! Still feeling a little drowsy!”

“How long has it been?”

“Several years.”

“Are you around anyone doing drugs?”

“Nope, but while I’m here I’d kind of like to narc off J.D.Simpson. He does a lot of them.”

“You understand that you are required to be drug tested and your home randomly inspected for search and seizure?”

“Yes, but it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“You also have to co-operate with mental health. You said you make poor decisions when ill, what other symptoms do you get?”


“Ok, we’re going to have you pee in a cup.”

“Now? I just went before I came in. I could try though. Got any juice?”

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Artisan – Post 37 – Conversation With Craig

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 37

Conversation With Craig


“Hi Craig! I see you got a pipe. I’ve been trying to smoke a broken one myself, but I keep burning my thumb.”

“Yeah, I can’t afford cigars till the first when I get paid.”

“Yep, it’s that time of the month. When we’re all out of money and feeling bitchy! Want one of my cigars?”

“Sure, thanks.”

“I still have a little money from my online business, debating whether or not to get a haircut from Cindy.”

“Is Cindy your barber?”

“No, she works at a salon. She’s a friend of mine, so she cuts my hair and trims my beard for me real cheap.”

“Is Cindy married or single?”

“She’s single.”

“Does she have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Then she’s open territory for you.”

“No, not every woman’s open territory for me. I have no car, no regular job, still waiting to get my Obama phone… For me, getting lucky is literally getting lucky!”

“Yeah, you can’t win them all! Do you know what we’re having for dinner tonight?”


“I hope its spaghetti!”

“I bought a pack of Ding Dongs last night, if you want me to share them with you Craig.”

“Sure, that’d be great. It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Craig, it is!”

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Artisan – Post 36 – Atheism And Absurdity

Artisan by Dan Joyce


Post 36

Atheism And Absurdity


“Sartre called death an absurdity.”


“Because, it means nothing. We come from nothing and return to nothing, our minds, our consciousness…”

“I don’t get it.”

“It gives and takes away from the magic of the universe. Our lives, our perceptions are denied a grander cause. Instead, like a light bulb, it all ends.”

“But what about the self, self-fulfillment, self-actualization? How is that nothing?”

“Whatever impact, whatever contributions to life, whatever we learned from our whole existential experiment are all gone at once. How is that not ridiculous? The most profound argument for the existence of a creator vanishes to unreason.”

“Are you an atheist?”

“No, few people are. But you’d have to look at Sartre’s statement a little closer to understand, not an argument against a creator, but a more profound reason for one. True there is no way known to man to establish a divine being, but the purpose of life, what gives it meaning, we must chose a grander cause. Otherwise nothing can make any sense of it at all. And not only we become insane, but the chaos of life with no cause.”

“What was his cause then?”

“Apparently, through is writings, teachings and philosophical career, his cause was to find that cause. That was to live meaningfully for oneself and the ethical benefit of others.”

“That’s sort of beautiful.”

“It is, though. Isn’t it?”

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